Lepidoptera and Arachnidia
by TallestCora
Summary: This is a base story for many of my ideas. Dib finds Tak on Venus and saves her, for some reason. Tak's ship's computer plots something. Mimi can't be counted on to perform more than one task. When all these elements combine, what will they do? Work together to destroy Zim? Or kill each other? NOT DATR, but could be depending on the story. Read Author's Notes for explanation.
1. Part One

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, especially the scientific names for the Orders that moths and spiders belong to! Sos don't complain to me about it if it's missing! ...Oh, that, and I don't own Invader Zim!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I use this story as a starting base for many of my little story ideas, so much so, that I thought it'd be necessary before I start anything, to type it up. It'll give a nice little background, and if I need to, I can copy and paste it whole or in part into a story if I need to reference it! Sos, anyways, here it is! It's NOT REALLY DATR, but being the starting point of so many of my story ideas, it needed to be typed up, thence, it could be DATR depending on the story. There are a few ideas I have that branch off from this one idea, just sos you get the point. Geeze, did I just do a Mojo-Jojo?! *Exclaims* I'M SUDDENLY IN THE POWERPUFF GIRLS UNIVERSE, AND I'M A MONKEEEYYY! *Runs away, screaming.*

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**Lepidoptera and Arachnidia**

Part 1; In Which Finds Dib and Tak's Ship Arguing Pointlessly in Such an Amusing Fashion, as I See Fit, and an Interesting Development Transpires

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Dib stared at the screen, which illuminated him with briefly with intermittent flashes of light. The dull glow from his lap-top screen faintly reflected in his lenses. There was something irritating him with this recent look into the operating system of Tak's ship. Although he had previously ignored it as some sort of warning signal, ie, "Flight Systems compromised", or something along those lines, after he'd fixed everything else, he still got this same annoying signal. (Technically, it took Gaz's anger to fix the ship, but he didn't like admitting more than a little help from his younger sister.) He'd tried running a diagnostic, but it was hard to figure out what the readings were when everything was in Irken -words, measurements, etc.

He sighed and held the bridge of his nose to relieve the eye-strain. Although his lenses had a special coating designed by his dad to reduce eye-strain during long sessions on the computer, it was still difficult to spend more than ten hours staring at it. And he was getting hungry.

Leaning back, he tried asking his computer, which was connected to the ship's computer, one last command. "Computer, can't you tell me _anything_ about this strange warning signal? Like, I don't know, ...phw-ANYTHING?!" He sighed in exhasperation.

{Yeah, FINALLY, you're asking the right questions!} Exclaimed the ship's computer suddenly. Since the personality programming had been deleted prior, he decided to give it a voice like he was used to. So he simply used the same voice program from his lap-top. Some random woman's voice. It was nice-sounding and impersonal. A change he found very pleasant. But the Irken ship still had an amazing A.I. program, which, when not programmed with a personality, formulated a simulated real personality over a period of time with continued usage. Meaning that his ship now sounded like an annoyed older sister. Yay. Just what he needed -another sister!

Dib leaned his head up just a bit, enough to ask, "HUH?!"

{Uhm, _YEAH_~ What part of 'ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE' _doesn't_ register?!} It asked in an annoyed voice.

"U-uoh. But -uh..." Dib started to ask, but the computer had more to say about this.

_{ANYWAYS_, about this signal you've been wondering about and quite frankly, RUDELY shoving your nose into all my files and things to understand -by the way, we've simply GOT to do _SOMETHING_ about your rather limp grasp on simple Irken script!- THIS is a _tracking_ signal. Ding-dong.} It added the last part in just as it finished its evaluation. It was also starting to take on a "Southern woman and annoying, pushy Aunt" personality. Dang. He'd have to fix that; but he was afraid to even touch the personality matrix after that last misadventure.

"A TRACKING SIGNAL!?" Exclaimed Dib in shock. "Auphuh! What KIND of tracking signal!?" He almost couldn't form the words he was so excited. The ship revelled in the pleasure of being the one to inform him of something so obvious, he'd spent the past twelve and a half hours trying to figure it out.

{The tracking signal for the escape pod,} Informed the ship, with a slight edge of smile in its voice. {What, you think the engineers didn't think to include that little bit of tech just because you normally wouldn't expect the main body of the ship to survive if you used the escape pod?} Now its voice was genuinely grinning, pleased with its new reveal and with how it got to punish him for invading its databanks so rudely. HIM, an alien _child_, simply waltzing right in and expecting to suddenly claim the ship for his own, _just_ because he salvaged it?! Not if THIS ship had anything to say about it!

"Al_right_, alRIGHT, I get it, it was obvious! Geeze!" Sighing, he pushed his glasses up on his face and wondered briefly whether he should wash them, while he hoped he'd get the information he needed out of this ship. Perhaps Tak had the right idea, including her own personality as part of the ship -but he couldn't get it to work right. Oh, well.

{AND, if I may be so bold,} it continued.

"Of COURSE you would," mumbled Dib.

{It leads straight to a planetary body in a closer orbit around the sun, typically referred to as, "Venus",} the computer continued, undaunted. The thought of reuniting with its original re-builder and owner was spurring it onward in helping Dib. After all, if the escape pod was there, then Tak was most surely nearby. Especially on that planet.

"VENUS?!" Exclaimed Dib incredulously. "But Venus is _UNINHABITABLE_! Th-then _that_ means that..."

{Yes. Either she was in danger after she escaped and was forced to land on the planet, or she's using it as a base of operations. Considering its orbit is quite similar to this planet's, that wouldn't be too improbable.} The computer seemed to smile a bit at this. Dib almost wanted to know what it was planning, but the current situation kept his attention.

"Wow! Geeze, this is gonna' be tough! ...Hm...even if she's injured, I can't exactly take her on by myself! ...Hhhmmm...I don't think she'd be _that_ badly injured. She seemed pretty tough. How the heck did Zim beat her, anyways? No, wait, better yet, _if_ she's still alive and well, is she still plotting to take over the Earth?" Dib rubbed his chin in thought, strangely reminicent of his father.

{Um, first questions first. She wasn't injured when her pod ejected.} Responded the ship. Even though it didn't want to help Dib any more than barely necessary, it was also trying to get him to track down Tak. The sooner he tried to, the sooner it could get to Tak. From his previous experiences, Dib decided he'd better rig the systems so they wouldn't work without his command. The ship _had_ threatened him several times; so it was an understandable precaution. So the ship had to _convince_ him to go along with _its_ plan.

"Huh? You mean, she's alright? Then, she's probably just using Venus as a base to spy on Earth!" Replied Dib.

{Possibly. However, there is still the possiblility that she was injured in a crash-landing on the planet's surface,} replied the ship. It sounded slightly concerned. This seemed strange to Dib, and made him think a minute.

"Hhmmm...if that's true, then...hey, can't you track that signal, and, like, find out from the escape pod's computer what happened? I mean, you know, can't you at least get the flight data, like, oh, say...an airplane's little black box, or something?" Asked Dib. He figured they would have some sort of saved flight data; it wasn't the most insanely illogical idea in the entire universe.

{Well, of course. Here, it'll take just a second...} a few beeping sounds later, and the ship, which was now more compliant -a little too compliant, Dib thought- retrieved the data. {This is the data from the escape pod after Tak ejected.} The screen then changed to something completely different.

It was mostly black, and in the center was a circle with the main picture. It looked like a heat-signature reading, shaped like Tak, and to the left of the circle it read off various levels of things in Irken. Despite the Irken script, Dib could understand that these levels were probably related to navigation and internal systems. Floating around her in the apparently gravity-free pod were pieces of pale gray somethings. To the right of the main circle, a small list was displayed, with lines indicating the floating pieces of pale gray somethings. He wondered slightly what the levels on the read-out were registering, but he stopped when he heard her speaking. He paid rapt attention.

_"I don't even know HOW you did it, ZIM! You're not even an INVADER, YOU KNOW!? The Tallest LIIIEEED TO YOU! Your mission's all a big LIIIEEEEE! I'll come back, and, ah-" _

The pod's interior suddenly jostled, and the read-out to the left went crazy with changing symbols. "Th-That-!" Exclaimed Dib suddenly. "WHAT did SHE JUST SAY?!" He said, grabbing his hair and head. The playback on the screen paused.

{Oh, _what?_ You didn't think that they'd _actually_ send out someone as _incompetent_ as_ ZIM_, just to conquer a planet full of_ water_, did you?!} The computer almost laughed. The look on Dib's face was mixed with shock, disbelief, and horror. {The fact is, he's just a _criminal!_ He was exiled here to this planet, just because he's such a horrible, destructive bane on civilization's existence!}

"Wh-wh-_WHAT_?!" Exclaimed Dib in further incomprehension.

{Of course, the fact is, he's the reason half the Irken homeworld was destroyed. He got inside a giant mecha and started rampaging without even _waiting_ to be sent to the enemy planet. Pshh, it wasn't even his own mecha! _He_ wasn't supposed to be operating that thing!} Dib's jaw was so far dropped, it would've hit the floor if the table hadn't been in the way. {He was banished to Foodcourtia to be a Food Service Drone, but he escaped somehow, and was able to get back, just as the Great Assigning was being held, which assigned the Invaders to their designated planets. Apparently his denial knows no bounds~!} Adding that last part, the ship seemed to roll its eyes. Dib could certainly agree with that assessment, but what he didn't understand was why in the heck he'd never heard of this.

"H-h-HEY!" He suddenly shouted. "If what you're saying is _TRUE_, then how come_ I've _never heard of it, HUH!?"

{Oh, PLEASE! You've been operating all this time under the assumption that Zim is an _actual _Invader. You never _once_ even stopped to consider the facts: That he's too dumb, destructive, and self-defeating to even _begin_ to conquer anything! At the most, he'd just _destroy _it!} The computer commented succinctly. It had a point. All this time, Dib hadn't stopped to wonder why the Irkens even wanted this planet.

"W-w-whell..." he had to think. It seemed the most likely scenario, but just because this ship, which had recently begun to distinguish itself with its own personality, and which had previously shown itself to be difficult to utilize because of its Irken origins, decided to reveal this information to him, that didn't mean that it was telling the truth. "I don't know... I'll still need more proof than just _that!_ I mean, you're an _Irken_ ship! So how can I assume you'd just tell me the truth? And besides, you've been pretty mean to me, before. I don't think you'd just tell me something like this without an ulterior motive. I think I'll hack into Zim's computer and find out for _sure_!" He replied, smirking, finally feeling more confident.

{Gggrrr...} the ship inwardly shuddered. {Dib, the moments when you finally choose to use your intellect are the most mysterious, _indeed!_} Sighing, then, it continued, {But, so be it! If that's what it'll take to get it through your big head, then you might as well! You'll just find out the truth, anyways!}

Smirking and feeling significantly more dominant, Dib cracked a smile and said, "Okay, then! Now, what to- Oh, right! We need to finish watching this!" He said, pointing at the screen.

Sighing silently once again, the ship continued the playback on his lap-top. Tak was continuing to scream, but it died down after she finally regained control of the escape pod. Instead of going somewhere else, though, Tak instructed the pod to land on Venus. Just why wasn't she going to some Irken outpost? Dib voiced this concern to the ship's computer.

{Uhm, I don't know either, Chief. It might just be because she's tired from the fight and wants to re-think her strategy. If I know Tak, that also means...} The ship's computer trailed off in thought, leaving Dib practically squirming to know what it meant.

"What?! What do you mean, 'it also means'?! Huh?! _Huh_?! WHAT?!" He almost shook his lap-top. Sighing, the computer replied simply.

{I think it just means that she had another strategy in mind. That's all,} it said, like it was the most simple thing in the entire universe.

"Oh," said Dib. Then he continued watching. After a while, Tak's pod landed, and she began to inspect the surroundings. Nothing showed up on scanners, but then some strange beeps sounded. It immediately went silent, leaving Tak looking somewhat nervous, but she continued what she was doing. Opening communications, she called in a few favors, and managed to get some equipment sent to her. "Ah-hah! I was right! She's using Venus as her new base of operations!" Exclaimed Dib. The ship's computer just groaned and sighed.

As he continued watching, he noted how she turned her attention to the floating gray pieces, which he soon learned were the dismantled bits of her robot, Mimi. She seemed to care a lot more for this than the other things she was doing. She took particular care in assembling and scanning it, even apologizing once in a low tone for having to dismantle it. 'Huh. She sure seems to care for it.' He thought. "I wonder why?" He said aloud. The ship seemed a bit surprised when he spoke up.

{Hm?! What?} It asked.

"Uhm, oh," Dib realized that he hadn't been speaking aloud like usual. "I said, I wonder why Tak seems to care for that robot?"

Sighing in what seemed to be a revealing sadness, the ship replied, {Oh, that's because she built Mimi herself. She also built me when she was on planet Dirt. By hand. From JUNK.} It seemed to accentuate this last bit more strongly than the rest.

"Wow! You mean, she built herself that robot and you-an entire _spaceship_, from scraps!? Cool~!" Dib seemed sufficiently impressed, and the ship let it rest. For some reason, her building an entire ship and robot minion from scraps was far more impressive to him than her building a giant magma pump that would suck out the molten core of a planet and re-fill it with snacks. Huh.

After watching for what seemed like an agonizing amount of time, Dib finally asked, "Hey, by the way, what's that planet you mentioned? Planet Dirt?" He asked. But just then, the Tak on screen, having been mainly quiet, spoke up.

_"Opening communications. Ah! Colonel Puffs! How good to see you again~!" She said in seemingly saccrine tones. She wasn't doing this because she liked him, obviously._

"Colonel Puffs? Who's he?" Dib asked; but the computer shushed him.

_"Tak," the outline on the lap-top screen did nothing to show Dib more detailed features; just that the person looked Irken with some sort of metallic plates or perhaps just a design, on his head. To Dib it looked mechanical. "I'll get straight to the point. What have you done about that horrible Zim menace?!" He said Zim's name like it was pure and absolute poison._

_"I'm-" Tak's voiced seemed to falter, but soon it picked up, "I've had a small set-back," she replied, saying the last words like they hurt her to speak. "It appears he's just as absurdly impossible to destroy as ever," she seemed to dislike this. Just who was this guy she was talking to? Dib wished he could find out._

_"Listen, I don't want any more excuses! That stupid idiot has caused more trouble than even you could know! I just want him done with! Is that clear!?" He exclaimed in a typically loud military shout. Why did they always shout in the military?!_

_"Yes, Sir! I won't disappoint you again," Tak said with a certain amount of disgust, bowing her head slightly. The screen blinked off; it was then that Dib realized she had recieved an incoming call, not initiated it. Huh. How did she recieve a call if she was in an escape pod away from her ship? Did Irkens have personal communication devices? Maybe that was contained inside their Paks?_

Although there was nothing else of importance happening, Dib still paid rapt attention as Tak swore under her breath in untranslated curses. The ship apparently didn't want to translate this part. Maybe it was protecting him from bad language? Dib almost smiled at this. That would be more like a big sister, then, wouldn't it? "Hey, computer, who was that?" He asked. "He seemed like someone important, but Tak sure didn't seem to like him!"

{On the contrary,} replied the computer, {They get along quite well. That was a commander in the Irken military who was also, er, shall we say... "terribly inconvenienced"... by Zim. He lost his legs and right eye during one of Zim's _other_ destructive shenanigans. Thankfully, Irken genetecists can clone new eyes and limbs...but he preferred to keep cybernetic legs as opposed to having new ones cloned for him. He likes it because of all the weapons he can stick on 'em. He and Tak met after she escaped from planet Dirt where she was forced to take a job as a Janitorial Drone after-}

"Okay, OKAY! Wait a minute! Just a second, where exactly does this story begin?!" Dib had to stop the computer from continuing before he became cross-eyed with delirium. Either he had seriously been staring at this computer screen too long, or he was just stuck in the middle of a narrative for a _really looooooooong story!_

The computer stopped and even seemed to take a deep breath. Just why did it need to take a deep breath? It didn't breathe! ...Or did it? He had to stop and think about that for a minute, but the computer continued, undaunted. {Fifty years ago on the Irken Military Training planet, Devastis, Tak had been readying herself for the final test to become one of the Irken Elite Soldiers. An "Invader", if you will. However, because of an explosion, the power-block for that entire half of the planet was blown. Tak was sealed inside her dormatory for a long time until rescue crews finally arrived. Not that that was the main problem. The other half of the planet still had power, and the testing continued, uninterrupted, on that side. Although she pleaded with the Control Brain to let her take the test, it was no use. The next test was in seventy years. Because she had no other qualifications, she was placed on a Janitorial squad and sent to planet Dirt. Planet Dirt is mainly a junkyard planet, where things are scrapped for parts to be recycled. But, its frequent dust-storms mean things need constant attention and cleaning. Hence its name. She built me during her time there and managed to escape. She built Mimi later. She researched what had happened on planet Devastis for many years, and finally, upon realizing it was Zim's doing, she made many contacts, er, "associates", as you would say, who also had problems with Zim. This would include any Irken born within the past 100 years... In any case, that Colonel Puffs, was one of her financial supporters who backed her when she needed supplies to build the Magma Pump.} The computer finally stopped its long monologue and seemed to need a breather. For a ship, that was pretty strange. But the story WAS long.

"WOAH...!" Was all Dib could think to say. It was almost mind-boggling what Tak's backstory was like. That, and she was a lot older than he'd thought. "Hey, wait a minute, you said this all happened_ fifty years _ago?"

{_Irken_ years. In Earth time, one Irken year would equal approximately 15 years.} The computer calmly explained. Surprisingly enough, it didn't find his questions all that annoying. Dib remembered this from some data he'd stolen from Zim's computers, but the full comprehension hadn't quite hit him yet.

"Wait a minute!" Dib suddenly grabbed his head, "Then that would be 750 years!" The computer played a clapping soundtrack for him.

{Congratulations, you've passed 3rd grade math!} Glaring at the computer, Dib just let it slide while he thought about it some more.

"Okay, then...I think I get the point about why she hates Zim..." He continued thinking, "And, the more you tell me, the more it seems likely that your claims of Zim being a criminal are true. But, I still won't believe it unless I see proof from an undeniable source!"

{You mean, like...say...The Almighty Tallest?} Asked the computer with a slight smirk.

Glaring at it, Dib was about to ask the computer why it expected them to tell him anything (let's face it, he'd interrogated them relentlessly, and all he got was, "I'm bored. Can't you do something interesting?" "Yeah, let's see you dance or something!" "Come on! We ain't got all day!" "Look, that little robot of Zim's is doing it!" "Will you tell me stuff if I do?" "...Uh, yeeeaaahhh..." "Sure, start dancing!") But instead, other things were happening on-screen.

_Tak had mostly fixed her robot, but with its memory disk missing, it couldn't be counted on to perform more than one task at a time. It was literally living in the moment. There was a constant beeping coming from what Dib assumed were sensors, but he couldn't tell much. He wished he'd learnt Irken. "ARRRGGGHHH! What IS it with these SENSORS!?" Exclaimed the enraged Tak on-screen. "WHY IS IT they keep BEEPING for COMPLETE NOTHING-NESS!" After fiddling with her instruments, the beeping stopped. Nothing much happened after that, and so Dib had the computer sort through it and fast-forward until stuff happened again._

"Look, I'm getting really hungry, and it's almost 7:30. I'm gonna' go downstairs and get something to eat. Be right back!" He hurried out the door with as much gusto as a hungry hyena.

After eating some surprisingly good tacos from the Crazy Taco that Gaz bought (she had a Taco Salad) Dib returned to his room, sucking on a Suck-Munky.

{Ah, there you are, again!} The ship's computer peered through his lap-top's built-in web-cam as he sat in front of it.

"Okay, I'm good and ready for more amazing revelations!" He said almost ecstatically, as he peered back into the computer's screen.

{Well, nothing much has happened after that. Just some more annoyances and false-alarms,} Dib nodded at this as he sucked on his slushy drink, {But, after a few days' time, the equipment Tak had called for came -Oh, I forgot, she made a call for some equipment to begin building herself a larger shelter, but that didn't seem to be too important- anyways, here's that little bit:}

_The screen showed the inside of the escape pod shake a bit, and Tak looked outside excitedly. Jumping up, she exited the pod and disappeared from view._

{According to the pod's external sensors, she went towards the source of the impact. That would be the equipment she ordered.}

_Tak returned shortly after that for Mimi, "Mimi! Come help me move this stuff!" The little robot saluted and followed after her._

"Okay, okay, wait a minute!" Dib suddenly said. "Just how in the heck is she walking around outside on the surface of VENUS!?" With sulfuric acid for clouds and carbon dioxide for air, she couldn't possibly BREATHE there. Not to mention hurricane-force winds. And with atmospheric pressure 90 times that of Earth's, she'd be crushed in no time. If that wasn't enough, then the extreme heat of over 880 degrees Fahrenheit would probably cause her to melt or burst into flames! Or both. Probably both. And he voiced this to the computer.

{Uh, because she used the force-field to extend the atmosphere around the pod. It cuts the power supply in half and stretches the atmospheric stabilizers to their limits, but it was sufficient for her needs. I'd show you the scene, but she doesn't really say much. In any case, it's enough for her to move a few feet away from the pod, and her SIR-Unit Mimi can survive the harsh enviornment without much trouble, so she used it to retrieve the packages.}

"Packages? Just how much equipment did she order?" Asked Dib. "And why didn't she just use a spacesuit?"

{Because she couldn't _find_ the spacesuit, apparently. It was strange, that missing suit. She seemed quite vexed about it... Oh, and she ordered just about enough to keep her alive for some length of time on Venus. Anyways, after that, she started building her shelter by partially dismantling the outside of the escape pod. Then she managed to construct a rather small, but adequate, base. However...} It trailed off as if there was something more to this, but it didn't feel like saying it.

"Wh-what? What is it?" Dib suddenly got a feeling of impending nervousness.

{After about a few months, -that's _Earth_ time- she started having problems with the, eh..."natives"...I guess...if noxious, gaseous clouds can really count as natives, then-} Dib cut it off.

"_What!?_ Venus has PEOPLE on it!?" He exclaimed with shock.

{Erm, yeah, well... I guess that's all we can refer to them as. They didn't show much sign of communicating, although the pod's sensors would go off sometimes for no apparent reason, and some clouds would drifty by, INSIDE THE FORCE-FIELD, which would cause Tak quite a lot of pains to keep it functioning right. Anyways, after a while they seemed to leave her alone, for the most part. But then, suddenly, without warning-} The screen changed and showed a different view.

_The view was now larger, showing what looked to be the room Tak was staying in. She was putting something into test tubes, or what Dib assumed they were, since there were almost no colors and only outlines, and what she held in her hands were shaped like vials. After that, she put the lids on them and stowed them properly. A bang and explosion, along with the hiss of pressurization, suddenly occurred. Tak yelled and rushed to fix it. There was a lot of commotion. But it was finally fixed._

_"COMPUTER!" Tak screamed shrilly, "WHAT WAS THAT EXPLOSION!?" Dib almost smiled at how her shrill command reminded him of Gaz suddenly._

_{Unknown. There was a particularly dense concentration of gasses around the wind power turbines before it exploded.} The escape pod's computer explained in Tak's own voice. Dib actually smiled at this. What was it about her wanting things to sound like herself? He had one day and two nights with his own personality programming, and he hated it! If he'd told the ship's computer this, it would probably have stated that that was a definite personality problem._

_"RRRRGGGGGRRRRR!" Screaming in frustration, Tak replied, "We'll have to extend the force-field even further around the base! We can't have anything breaking down on us -I'm gonna' have to find some more funds..." she mumbled this last part to herself as she looked around._

_{There is insufficient power for that. Another power turbine will have to be added, to increase force-field proficiency.} The escape pod's computer explained._

_Growling in frustration again, Tak responded, "But we don't even have enough Monies for that! AAARRRGGGEEE!"_

_{There is, perhaps, a way to reinforce the metal plating outside to increase stability,} the computer suggested._

_"Fine! It looks like we'll have no other choice! Looks like I'LL be spending the entire day trying to get some more Monies..." She said as she threw off what looked to be a suit of some kind, before pulling up a screen._

{Things continued like this, the "malfunctions" occurring more and more frequently, until they qualified as all-out attacks!} The ship's computer seemed really nervous about something.

"Then what happened? And what aren't you telling me?" Asked Dib, actually picking up on this nervousness.

{There were eventually too many problems, and then an explosion... The pod's computer seems functional and its memory banks are in working order, but there has been no other activity for days... It's possible that something has happened, something..._horrible_.} Replied the ship's computer.

"Then... Quick, gimme the live feed from inside!" Replied Dib, realizing what the ship was implying.

_The screen fuzzed into view. It was now completely different; things leaned in bizarre directions, and small clouds of gas floated near the roof, which appeared to be pealed open. They wandered in different directions, from what he could tell, although the screen was still somewhat fuzzy, with fuzzy lines through it. The clouds, or people, or whatever, in Dib's point of view seemed to be examining, almost searching for something... Wait, where was Tak? Although he peered through the screen, he couldn't find anything in that single-roomed base that looked like an Irken. Dang-it! It looked like he'd have to go there to find out._

"Computer!" He shouted commandingly, "Get ready! We're going to find out what's happened!" Then he jumped out of his chair and ran downstairs, all the way to his dad's laboratory, to find that Super-Depth Submersible Suit he'd been working on.

End part 1

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Author's Notes will be at the end of part two, since this is a rather short story. I'll upload that in a short while, just as soon as I can figure out this confangled document manager editing thingy! *Glares evilly at it and considers angrily requesting that FF. net allow the use of double paragraph spaces, because it looks so much prettier.* Anyways, R+R, blah blah blah!


	2. Part Two

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, especially the scientific names for the Orders that moths and spiders belong to! Sos if they're still missing, don't come complaining to me! ...Oh, that, and I don't own Invader Zim!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Part two of a two-parter, this one is considerably more fun~! Oh, and... Psst! *Giggles* Dib's Pressure Suit! *Rolls around giggling* Anyways, all the notes on stuff are at the end of the chapter, and then I'll be off to burn FF. net's ears for not including double- and triple-paragraph breaks! *Runs and skips off.*

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**Part 2; In Which Finds Dib Finding Tak, and Brain-Bombs Are/Aren't Neurologically Implanted**

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Dib ran almost tripping down the stairs, before half-sliding on his knee into his dad's laboratory. He stood up and looked around quickly before running towards a door on one wall. He ran straight into it, fell backwards, then got up like nothing had happened. He was slightly tougher than ordinary kids -which he attributed to his getting beaten up on a regular basis by his sister when they were younger, along with other kids, authority figures, Zim's lawn gnomes... Geeze, for all that beating, he should be indestructible by now! Opening the door, he sighed as he realized that the suit was sized for an adult -totally not anywhere near his own body size.

"Gee, _now_ how am I gonna' walk on Venus?" He asked himself. His dad's head suddenly hovered over him, surprisingly not attached to a screen this evening.

"What's wrong, Son?" He asked with evident concern. His son didn't normally show an interest in deep-sea submersibles. Of course, there _was_ that one time with the Titanic...

"Whaa! Oh, hi, Dad!" Replied Dib, a bit surprised at seeing him. But he quickly recovered. "I need a pressure-suit that'll help me withstand the _insane_ pressures on the planet Venus! I might need to leave the ship without a force-field," he explained, while yet not explaining anything about what he was doing. He usually didn't need to explain too much; just the basics of what he was doing. His dad thought he was insane, anyways; so if it wasn't dangerous, he didn't mind.

"Oh, I see, hhmm...exploring Earth's sister planet _would_ be a good learning experience..." He said thoughtfully, rubbing his hidden chin with his gloved hand. "But WAIT! You aren't going to use this to dabble in the PA-RA-NOR-MAL, are you?!" He emphatically pointed at him.

"Uh..." Looking up and to the side, Dib said, "Noooo~...I'm just ready for a REAL SCIENCEY-LEARNING TRIP!" Grinning cheesily, he hoped his dad wouldn't notice.

His dad either didn't notice, or was too hopeful he was actually getting interested in REAL SCIENCE! to let his doubts voice themselves. "Well...OKAY, SON!" Super-cheesy-unseen-grin from his dad. "Let's get you _ALL_ SUITED UP!" And, grabbing Dib with pincers and the suit with his hair, he poked a button on the nearby console and ran off. "THIS'LL ONLY TAKE A SEE~COOOND~!" He exclaimed in mad excitement as he bounded off.

THREE SECONDS AND MUCH PRODDING LATER...

Dib emerged from the door into the garage, wearing what could only be described as a white and silver pumpkin with limbs and two small "wing"-looking appendages on the back for air-supply. One held pure oxygen, and the other used plant-infused technology to turn the carbon-dioxide expelled from breathing back into oxygen for re-use. His helmet rose above the domed shape of the melon-squash dramatically, with a little scythe-shaped silver cover for Dib's hair. The plant-infused technology did wonders for the comfortable fabric of the suit, but didn't exactly help the design aspect of it. Hence the cute, plump, pumpkin-head. It was too cute.

The ship instantly had to burst out laughing at the sight of it. "Oh, SHUT IT! It was my Dad's design!" Grumped Dib as he descended the stairs in an uncomfortable waddle, squeaking with each footstep.

This just made the ship laugh even harder. {B-But, you-you look so-CUTE!} It exclaimed, just like an older sister who's seen her younger sibling in the cutest attire she's ever seen. It made sure to capture this moment forever in its long-term memory banks. This was excellent black-mail material for whenever Tak came back. That is, _if_ she was alive.

Dib glared at it and told it to shut up again. It took a few minutes to actually do it, but it finally settled down. Then Dib climbed uncomfortably into the cock-pit, while the ship shook with barely-contained giggles at the scene. Once he was inside, he started the ship up; but the poor thing couldn't get over the giggles until they were entering Venus' orbit.

"Okay, where's the signal coming from?" Asked Dib as they approached the planet. Sniggering and barely containing its giggles, the ship complied, showing him a map and a trail.

{*SNRCK!* Th-This way! *SNICKER*} Said the Ship as it tried to focus on its mission. But that suit Dib was in _was_ awfully cute. Dampening its humor circuits for a moment, it managed to calm itself down.

"Good, looks like we can set down right in the middle of those canyons there..." Dib said, then frowned at the ship's computer, "Hey, why are you so quiet all of a sudden?" He asked, referring to its recent lack of giggles.

{I just dampened my humor circuits so we could get down to business,} Replied the ship very seriously.

"Hhhm," said Dib. He was seriously regretting allowing the ship to grow its own personality -it seemed too interested in getting Tak back. "You know, you'll still have to do what I say, right?" He was referring to the little programming he'd done to keep it from acting without his permission.

{Of course. And you know that Tak can un-do whatever programming you've done,} it responded easily. {So we're at a stale-mate. Capisce?}

Snarling, Dib said, "The instant we get back, I'm erasing your personality programming!"

{You wouldn't DARE!} Shouted the computer.

"Just TRY me!" Shouted Dib back. As they descended through the atmosphere, Dib and the ship's computer kept a wary eye on one another.

{It's _here_,} the ship stated curtly after many minutes had passed. {Do you want me to circle around again, or should I just drop you off and come back in a few minutes?} It added sarcastically.

"Hah, hah, very funny," replied Dib. Then he thought a minute, "Do a scan for Tak's body. Do you see her anywhere?"

{I'm trying, but there's some stuff in the way...she might be hiding under some piles of things,} replied the computer. Dib glared angrily at it, because he thought it was trying to get him to get out of the ship, grab Tak, and strand him out there. {Maybe she took refuge from the intense atmosphere in a sealed compartment? I'm sure that's what happened; why don't you get out there and take a look?}

"Hey!" He said, shouting and pointing, "If I die out there, there won't be anybody to rescue Tak!"

{Thanks so much for stating the _obvious_, bowling-ball head! Now, get out there and rescue Tak!} Replied the computer, that hadn't been that dumb as to think it'd be better if he died _before_ helping Tak.

Growling, and saying things about the computer under his breath, Dib checked his suit to make sure it was functioning properly, then set it to "Automatic Pressure Adjustment" and closed his helmet's "glass". "Okay, ship! Land and let me off!"

Mumbling, {Oh, you'd better make # $^ sure that suit works,} the ship made a landing near the door of the small base, and opened its window.

The atmosphere was thick and dusty, with yellowish-orange clouds and the most bizarre orange tinge Dib had ever seen. The rocks and things looked almost black; but the ground looked as pale yellowish as the dust blowing by. The colors were so wrong in comparison to what he was used to, he almost felt like his eyes hurt. Looking up, through the yellow and orange sweeping clouds, there was an almost grayish tinge, or brown. But it was hard to see for more than a second before it changed, because the wind shifted constantly.

Dib tumbled out, falling flat on his face and almost squeaking when the pressure hit him, but he got relief three seconds later when the suit's Automatic Pressure Adjustment fully compensated. Jumping up, and wishing he could rub his slightly flattened nose, Dib gave a "thumbs-up" to the ship before tumbling cutely off to search for Tak. Like a cute, large tumbleweed, because the wind caught his poofy suit and blew him around.

The ship allowed itself a moment of un-dampened humor circuits to laugh and giggle to itself, and save these precious few moments of extreme cuteness in its, "Horribly Embarrassing Black-Mail of Dib" file. It was just that cute, it was.

Screaming with sheer terror, Dib found the "Wind Compensator" that his Dad had mentioned. Pushing it, he suddenly fell fourteen feet to the ground as his weight increased considerably. Then when he stood up, the wheels in his boots activated, pushing him forward. He went about the speed of a people-mover, (1.5 miles an hour) but it worked well enough. After running into a few rocks, he finally reached his destination.

Dib rolled around the edge of the small base until he found a door. Opening it wasn't that hard, but finding his way through the stuff jammed against it, was. He also had to deactivate his Wind Compensator while he was at it. Having finally managed to punch a big wall away, he found himself in the main room. Well- it was all the main room, but that didn't mean there wasn't anything hidden in there. "Tak? ...Wait, why am I calling? She can't hear me in this thing... Wonder where she is... Hhhmmm...what would I do if I was in this place and it suddenly de-pressurized?" He wondered to himself. "I'd head straight for the safest place. But where is that...?"

Mumbling and stumbling around, he finally decided that she should have fail-safes installed for just such an event. But where were they? And what kind? After a few minutes of total dumbness, he almost stepped on the next big discovery. The robot was staring up at him and looked as if it was deciding whether to kill him or say something. "Tak's robot!" Shouted Dib in the suit. "Dang! Now only if I could talk to it!"

It seemed to have decided that he was a threat. Charging at him, it aimed its one large arm straight at his head. "AAAHHH!" Screamed Dib as he literally rolled away. Running around the room with Mimi chasing after him, he finally managed to push his way through the junk and jumped out the door, slamming it shut behind him. Breathing hard, he exclaimed, "That thing's INSANE!" Just as he felt the door growing hot behind him.

Looking around, he only had a split-second to jump away from the door before it fell down flat with a hiss of heat. The robot had deployed a laser from its head and melted the edges of the door. Dib then realized that he'd forgotten to install some sort of communication device to communicate with the ship. He'd been far too busy with the embarrassment of the Pressure Pumpkin Suit to notice. "GREAT! _NOW_ what do I do?!"

But the robot made his decision for him. It charged at him, wielding its large hand in menacing fashion. Dib was sufficiently menaced. He ran away from it and straight toward the ship. "HELP ME SHIP! SHIP! SHIP, HELP ME!" He was screaming, even though it was no good. His encounter with the robot had made him forget about the winds, and once out of the brief shelter from the wall of the base, he was flung into the air by an up-draft. Activating his Wind Compensator, he plummeted to the ground, and instantly wondered whether it was the best idea. Stuck roughly between the ship and the robot, he felt it added new meaning to that age-old adage.

"Oh, GREAT! Stuck between a ship and a robot!" He yelled as he tried rolling to the ship as fast as possible. The robot was obviously faster, as it grabbed him just as he reached the edge of the ship. He thought for sure his suit would be ripped and he'd die from pressurization and asphyxiation; but the robot suddenly stopped and looked straight ahead at the ship. Then it put him down and headed back inside.

Dib rolled up to the ship and, hopping inside, turned off his suit and asked, "What in the heck did you do?!"

{I simply communicated with it, idiot,} it replied. {Oh, and follow it inside! It must know what happened to Tak. If she was dead, there would be no need to attack an intruder, and it would've destroyed all evidence.}

"But it can't remember what you just told it! It'll shoot me once I go in there again! It has no memory, remember?!" He shouted.

{Oh, yeah~!} Stated the computer, as if it had forgotten. {Here- take this! It's a communicator. We should've done something like this earlier, but we were distracted... *Snigger* But, enough of that! Take this as well,} the ship's computer produced the communicator and a small bug-looking chip. {This chip will attach itself to Mimi, allowing me to control it. Don't lose it! It's one of the last ones left. I'll then use Mimi to help you.}

"Okay... Then maybe you could get the robot to lead me to Tak?" Asked Dib hopefully as he put the chip in his outside pocket, and the communicator on his trenchcoat collar underneath his suit. "Testing, testing," he said as he tapped the tiny communicator that was scarcely bigger than a button.

{I can hear you, now get out there!} Shouted the ship as it opened the window. With the force-field in place it wasn't going to kill him.

"Okay, already!" Said Dib as he checked his suit and pressurized it again. Then he jumped out of the ship and activated the Wind Compensator. Hitting the ground, he pulled himself up and turned towards the door, rolling at a rollicking 1.5 miles an hour.

Finally reaching the flattened door, Dib rolled on inside, then deactivated the W.C. _(A/N: The author is laughing so hard right now at the unintended puns.)_ Once inside, he looked around carefully for the robot. Leaning on a piece of metal, he almost jumped out of his skin when he saw the robot standing right by his feet. {Relax, it doesn't remember you,} the ship reminded him after hearing his surprised scuffle.

"Oh, right..." Breathing a sigh of relief, Dib dug into his outside pocket and pulled out the chip. The robot seemed to be studying him, trying to determine if he was friend or foe.

{Do it, quick! Before it finds out what you're up to!} Shouted the computer as he aimed at it.

Throwing the little bug-like chip, the robot reacted and put its arm out to stop the projectile. The chip activated on contact, and the robot fizzed a moment before lowering its hand and standing there, staring. {Okay, Dib. I'm in control. Now we can find Tak.}

Sighing, and wondering if it really was such a good idea to come here if the ship was that intent on getting Tak back, he walked over to where he'd seen the robot the first time. Back near the corner, where the escape pod was. "Let's look over here; I think this is where the robot was when I first saw it."

{Okay, I'll do a scan with Mimi's sensors,} replied the ship. {If I'm close enough, I should be able to find her.}

Looking in the escape pod's open cock-pit, Dib looked hard for any clue. But he came up with nothing. Looking around and under junk, he found a hole and wondered if she might've hidden down it. "Hey, look! I think I found-"

{FOUND HER!} Shouted the ship's computer. Glaring, Dib reluctantly put down his sheet of metal and wandered over to where the little robot was standing.

Inside the little "lab" area were many boxes and lab equipment smashed up and thrown all over the place. But near the wall was a small cylinder with beeping machines -or what he assumed were beeping, since the lights were shining- and pinkish windows which let one see inside.

"It's Tak!" Exclaimed Dib. She was bleeding and burnt in many places, and her breathing was shallow.

{It's a medical stasis tube! Quick, press the big, pink button on the right there -I'll fly over and take the wall off the base!} The computer shouted.

"What?! But the wind-"

{DON'T ARGUE WITH ME, JUST DO IT!} The ship shouted; then Mimi grabbed the sides of the cylinder. Dib automatically complied and pushed the button -his previous experience had held that angry women shouldn't be crossed. Even computerized A.I.s.

Dib grabbed onto the cylinder as lasers melted the wall around them, leaving an odd iris-shape cut-out. The winds ripped in through the new opening, and threatened to toss Dib again. But he held on tight to the cylinder, and the ship grabbed the cylinder as instantly as the wall fell; so that Dib didn't even have time to scream as the winds whipped at them and he was flung, head-first, into the safety of the ship's cock-pit. {Okay, now let's get out of here~!} The ship sounded oddly happy as it blasted off as fast as it had blared those words over its speakers.

"Aaauughh~h!" Said Dib as he lifted himself upright. Turning off his suit, he opened his helmet-glass and felt blessed relief. He wasn't claustrophobic, but the terror of thinking the ship might leave him on Venus was enough to make him glad to be able to open his helmet without imploding.

{HOORAY! Now that Tak's safe and sound, _YOU_ can help fix her up!} Stated the ship, belying any of his fears that it would leave him alone on that planet. Well, almost.

"Wait, _me_!?" He exclaimed in sudden realization. "But, I don't know anything about Irken biology! ..." suddenly, a thought struck him. He started grinning. "And besides, I think I might need my _DAD'S_ help!" Mimi reached over and whacked him.

{Don't you DARE think about doing ANYTHING to harm my master!} Shouted the ship angrily. {I'll have Mimi shadow you at ALL times!}

"I order you not to do _anything_ like that!" Shouted Dib back. "And you _have_ to do what I order you to!"

{AAARRRUUUUEEEEGGGGHHHHHHHSSS SHHHHHH!} Screamed the ship with more anger than Dib had ever heard. Suddenly Mimi grabbed him by the throat and squeezed; just enough to make it clear who was in control. {If SHE'S not ALIVE AND WELL, by THIS TIME NEXT WEEK!} Mimi squeezed a little bit more, {YOU'RE GOING TO WISH I _HADN'T_ BEEN FIXED BY YOUR SISTER!} Dib clawed at Mimi's claw, but it was no use. It had an iron grip. _(A/N: I can't claim there won't be any more puns like that. Sorry.)_

After a few more seconds with Dib turning progressively bluer and then purplish, Mimi let go. Dib lay there as he gasped for breath. {Now, we're going _back to Earth_, where you're _going to help heal Tak! _THEN, if you're GOOD, I WON'T TEAR YOUR THROAT OUT!} Glaring but sighing, Dib almost said something about, "Well, at least I'll get the data from monitoring Tak's condition," but the ship was growling and he could literally feel the anger reverberating throughout the cock-pit.

"Oookaaay..." He mumbled, thinking, 'I wonder if this reaction is because of a flaw in the ship's personality-building matrix, or just from having to deal with me?' Then, remembering his previous attempt at personality programming, he said, "Nope, it's just me, I guess..."

{What?! What was that?!} Snapped the computer, still on edge and keeping a strict watch on him.

"Nothing! Nothing," said Dib quickly, holding his hands up in the "I'm innocent" waves. Still snarling and growling at him, the ship didn't say a word as they flew back to Earth.

It was a much longer trip back than on their way to Venus.

Landing in the garage, Dib tumbled out of the ship and looked around. He needed something to cover up the medical stasis tube, and he couldn't run the risk of his dad finding out. Still, he also needed to make sure it was functioning properly to revive Tak. Which could possibly require equipment. Sighing, he almost couldn't believe he was about to say these words,

"We need to find a safe place to hide her where my dad won't notice," he said, looking around.

{Good to see you've finally come around,} said the ship with an air of authority.

Glaring sharply at it, Dib replied, "It's not like I have a choice! ...And besides," he said, smirking as his mind was suddenly working again, "It gave me an idea..." he put his hand to his chin in a mock manner suggestive of thought.

{WHAT?!} Hissed the ship sharply.

"I was just thinking, that maybe Tak and I could work together to take down Zim..." he didn't state what else he was thinking, and the ship didn't state that it thought he was an idiot if he seriously believed that. 'If I can convince Tak that I can destroy her, she'll have to help me out! But how can I do it?'

{Well, we'd better start examining Tak's condition and estimate recovery,} stated the ship, interrupting his -silent for once- musings.

"H-Huh?! Oh, yah, right..." Dib was ripped away from his thoughts of espionage as he looked to see what the ship was doing.

It had lowered the cylinder out of the cock-pit using Mimi. The robot held it easily, and Dib hoped it would stay under the ship's control until he could convince Tak to help him. Looking through the pinkish glass, Dib asked the ship, "I can't read the panels at all. What's it say?"

{It's her medical status. She's stable, but we'll have to make sure the medical stasis tube has enough power to continue supporting the healing process. I can provide much of the power it needs, but I'll still want to draw power regularly, just to make sure... What about those large-capacity batteries your dad made?}

"What? Those are supposed to go to the United Peoples conference in Genera! We can't use those!" Replied Dib.

{Oh, come on...what's one spare battery gonna' do? He does have two extras~} Weaseled the computer.

"No way! And besides, it takes up to three full days to recharge those; not exactly a plentiful power-source! Don't you have some way of recharging your energy?"

{I could, but it requires utilizing a radiant energy source -like, oh, say...the SUN- and that can't be done every day! If I was out in space, sure, but here on this-}

"Okay, okay, okay!" Shouted Dib before it got any more annoying. They were now officially on each other's nerves at this point. "Look, her medical stasis tube won't run out of power for a while, now -why don't you just take a quick trip to outer-space and come back when you've got enough energy stored up?"

{Number 1, I've been storing up energy from the Sun since we left Venus; Number 2, I can't leave you here alone with her. If I can't see this tube, you ain't goin' anywhere _near_ it!} Replied the ship with a snap.

"Oh, come o-" Dib started to remind the ship that it had already threatened to kill him if anything happened to Tak, but it interrupted.

{And _Number 3_!} The ship shouted, {_I'M_ needed to monitor Tak's condition!}

Glaring for a full minute, Dib finally sighed and said, "Oh, fine! But just where do you expect me to find some sort of super-power-source?"

* * *

Stumbling into the garage, legs shaking, smoking and burned in several places, -in some still burning- Dib's legs finally refused to allow him to stand, and he fell face-forward, the large battery about the size of his own body tumbling out of his hands.

{Did you get the one marked "R212-33?"} Asked the computer simply.

Coughing out smoke was his only reply. Mimi came up and picked up the battery to examine it. Then, turning back to the ship, it inserted it into the side.

{Ah, good. It looks like Zim didn't drain too much out of this one yet,} replied the ship. {But, if this isn't enough, we'll have to find some more.}

Dib just coughed and choked up some spit.

* * *

Two and a half weeks passed. Dib was growing used to the usual old routine: Get up in the morning, check on Tak, argue with the ship's computer, eat breakfast, go to Skool, thwart Zim's evil plans, come home, check on Tak again, eat dinner, watch Mysterious Mysteries, check E-Mail and messages, go to bed.

Once, his dad had almost caught him in the garage examining Tak's recovery. He had somehow managed to get the ship to camouflage itself and hide the medical stasis tube, but he had to make up some story about what he was so interested in in there.

He managed to flub up something about a "A-A-An Arachnid! A giant one!" And then listened to his father's lecture on how many species of arachnidia there were in the world, and why they were so essential to life, along with the potential medicines to be derived from their poisons and such. After Dib almost fell asleep, his dad finally got an incoming call and had to leave.

Dib had never been so happy to have his dad _not_ paying attention to him.

{Well, it's official.} Said the ship's computer, once he had gone.

"What? What is?" Asked Dib after sighing in relief that his dad hadn't noticed.

{You're finally growing up; you're hiding things from your parent.} Replied the ship in a saccharine-sweet tone.

"Ulgh! You know, for an alien space-ship, you're acting an awful lot like an annoying big sister..." he mumbled as he pulled the medical stasis tube out.

{Well I can't _help_ it! _You're_ a dumb little boy!} Exclaimed the ship at him. {And _don't_ think I haven't read some of those 'Paranormal Research Notes' on your computer!}

"H-H-Hey!" Shouted Dib, "That's MY stuff! It's private!" He crossed his arms.

{You could be officially qualified as a stalker!} Reminded the computer.

"It's _RESEARCH, not _stalking!" Replied Dib, pouting now.

{Suuurrreee...} said the computer, glad it got to jibe him early in the morning. It was one of its few pleasures -besides rifling through his computer's files for black-mail material.

Besides that little incident, there was not much else that happened.

Dib now sat at the kitchen table, eating dinner. It was one of those rare occasions that their dad was home for dinner. Gaz sat eating the baked beans and rice they had for dinner. Professor Membrane walked in and said, "So! How are my wonderful children this evening?"

"We're good," replied Gaz.

"Hhm, good," said Dib, whose mind was elsewhere.

"Oh, that reminds me, Son, whatever happened with that Giant Arachnid you were studying?" Asked Professor Membrane.

Gulping down hard on the rice and beans, he said, "Ahuhm...what?" Panic swept over him.

"Two and a half weeks ago, you said you had found a giant arachnid in the garage! I was wondering whatever happened to it. I was looking forward to seeing it! What kind was it?" Replied the Professor patiently.

Thinking back, Dib suddenly remembered the lie he'd told. Well, Irkens _did_ seem rather bug-like... And with those four pak legs, they'd have eight limbs altogether. "I-I-I, Um, I mean... It escaped! Sorry about that, Dad!" Replied Dib, scratching the back of his head in feigned sorriness.

"*Sigh* Oh, well! I'm sure it's not the last we'll see of it -after all, when it comes to arachnids, where there's one, there's a million of 'em!" He waved his hands around as if to illustrate it.

Dib gulped nervously. 'Oh, GREAT!' He thought to himself, 'I wonder if Irkens are anything like that...?'

* * *

Elsewhere, millions of light-years away, a Control Brain in charge of smeet production on Irk asked another fellow Control Brain, "You ever feel like someone is talking about you? And that you just flipped between scenes?" The others couldn't say that they had, at least not recently; so the Control Brain was left to wondering.

* * *

Back on Earth, in Dib's house, Professor Membrane had just finished telling them about his latest trip to the United People's conference in Genera. "And THEN, the Professor said that _I _was his biggest fan! Can you even believe it?! But, in the end, my giant batteries saved the day. It's a good thing I had two extra!"

Both Dib and Gaz nodded.

"Oh! By the way, all that talk about arachnids reminds me," said Professor Membrane, standing up to take something out of the freezer, "Guess what I brought back from Thailand! ...Edible Spider-Pops!" He handed one to each of them.

Looking at the pop-sicle of spider encased in sugary-ice, Dib felt his stomach turn. It had three dots on its back, just like an Irken pak. Suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore.

"What's the matter, _remind_ you of someone~?" Taunted Gaz after biting the head off hers. Dib glared at her, but then turned back to his pop. He set it down and excused himself from the table.

Sure, it was one thing to hate your enemy; it was quite another thing to eat an animal which looks suspiciously similar.

He reminded himself never to go to Thailand.

* * *

Back out in the garage, Dib set up his lap-top to continue monitoring Tak's condition. Although he couldn't read Irken, after ordering the ship to translate things into English and hooking up his lap-top computer to it, he was able to figure out what all that stuff meant. He also took the time to start learning Irken better, since it seemed likely he'd need it.

He didn't realize he'd dozed off; but before he knew it, he heard a tapping sound. There was also a beeping, making him think it was his alarm clock. After awakening with a start, he looked around and realized that he wasn't in bed, and it was 10:00 PM. Looking at the tube, he was amazed to discover that Tak was glaring back at him, and not very happily. "WHAAAAAAHHH!" Dib screamed as he jumped back, falling out of the chair he was sitting in.

Getting up, Dib was just in time to hear the ship's computer saying, {Emergency alert! Hey, Dumb-Head! Tak's Awake!}

"I know, I get it!" Shouted Dib back at it, then he pressed the little console on the side of the medical stasis tube.

Opening up with a smooth hiss, the tube's glass slid open to reveal a very angry-looking Tak. Pointing at his head, she said, "YOU!"

"Erm!" Said Dib, trying to find a way to hide behind the ship. "I, I can explain!" He said as he ducked behind a lawnmower.

"Then _start explaining_, before I make you into _sliced bokkey_!" She hissed, grabbing him by the shirt-collar.

"LOOK, I just _saved_ you!" Shouted Dib. He pulled himself away from her grip. "Your ship crash-landed in _my_ backyard! After I fixed it up," the ship coughed, but Dib continued, "I found there was a tracking-signal which lead me to where you crashed! I brought you here and kept you hidden until you were well again!"

Looking at him curiously, Tak said, "Something's wrong, here..." after walking around in a small circle, then she said, "And I suppose my ship just _happened_ to let you do all this...?" She leaned a hand against the side of the ship.

{Well, no, actually, he first tried programming his own personality into me, then realized what a horrible person he is to get along with, and erased all the personality programming, sticking me with this lame-o woman's voice. I didn't mind that as much, but putting up with _him_ is really getting to be a dra-}

"HEY!" Shouted Dib, "Don't change the subject!" The ship seemed to glare at him, but Tak continued on.

"So, you can't stand your own personality programming?" She said, then smirked, "That sounds like a personal problem."

Glaring at the joke, Dib said, "Yeah, sure, say what you like; but I _also_ programmed the ship to obey my every command!"

Tak looked surprised. Sighing, the ship said, {He's right. I'm sorry about this.}

Blinking, Tak then said, "No problem, I can fix that easily enough."

Dib grinned, "But there's something else that's not so easy to fix..."

"Oh...?!" Asked Tak, surprised that he actually looked calm.

"Yeah, like, maybe...your own brain?!" He said, pointing to his head.

Tak stared at him incredulously, but decided to let him continue. "What?"

"While you were unconscious, _I_ did a little _surgery_," replied Dib, trying his best to look confident. "I planted a BOMB in _your head_, and if you don't do what I say, _you'll_ be left without a head!"

Tak's eyes widened. "What?!" She didn't think her head had been tampered with; she'd have to do a scan to see if what he was saying was correct.

{That's not TRUE!} Shouted the ship's computer, {You're lying! I've been here the _whole _time, and there's _no way _you did something to her head without me knowing!}

"_I_ remember shutting you down for maintenance a little earlier this week, _right_?!" Replied Dib. If he was going to get Tak to cooperate with him, he had to make dang sure she was convinced. "I simply performed the surgery while you were shut down."

{But-but-! I, but!} Stated the computer, unsure of how to respond. Then it realized it could just run a scan. But Dib seemed to be up to something, and it wanted to know what. If it had any experience with this kid, it was that his brain seemed to function only on an "As Needed" basis; and this could be what he considered "As Needed".

Glaring at him, Tak studied this kid more carefully. Sure, she could do a thorough body-scan to make sure of what he was saying, but why did he want her to cooperate with him so badly? She decided to play along and find out. "I doubt you have the necessary surgical skills to perform neurosurgery, but I'll bite. What are your demands?"

"FIRST! _You_ help me destroy Zim! And SECOND, you _leave_ the Earth _alone_!"

Laughing, Tak said, "Is THAT all!? That's perfect! I was going to destroy him, anyways. And since my last plan didn't work out..." trailing off, Tak thought about her latest plan. Being back on Earth wasn't the worst thing, and with a new disguise, she could easily take care of that pest. But there was new information about Zim's latest exploits, and she planned on exploiting his terrible self to get what she wanted. To be an Invader. But first, she'd have to put up with a big-headed kid who thought he was in charge.

"Hm?" Asked Dib, forever curious.

"Alright, I suppose I'll help you..." She said evilly, holding out a hand. "Partner?"

Glaring warily at her hand, Dib finally took it and said, "Partner."

* * *

And thus, the Universe imploded with the resulting force of horror at this new development.

End Part Two

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I tried to make things as hole-proof and seamless as possible, but there's a couple of things that I just couldn't avoid, (or, quite simply, didn't care enough) sos here they are!

First of all, "Capisce". Didn't recognize that word? It's pronounced, "Kah-PEESH", normally, and I had to look up how to spell it because I had no clue! Apparently it's Italian! Go figure. I actually originally thought it was Russian! *Laughs* Anyways, the Urban Dictionary apparently had a very useful section devoted to it, sos I just thought I'd share that with you~! Darn, it won't allow links in here... anyways, look under the section entitled "Capisce". The rest of the notes are about the story, really!

1 Irken year equals 15 Earth years: Honestly, I didn't have anything to base this off of, sos I used some random piece of info I got from Wiki. Pretty-please don't kill mes! *Runs around screaming* I just used it because it was the only thing I could think of that might possibly be half-correct! I'll properly pester Jhonen Vasquez himself about all these popular questions, like the color of Irken blood, etc., later!

The Ship's Personality-Building Matrix Program: Okays, are you confused with this as much as I am? Even though it's not particularly canon, I got the idea from some sci-fi comic I was reading, and I liked it enough, (and the story needed it) that I used it here. Honestly, Dib needed to be conversing with someone who knew stuff and how to do stuff, and it was difficult to get him to a place that he needed to go without it. Also, it's just plain more fun~!

Dib finds out that Zim's mission is a fake?! WHAT THE DKSL;TJKT424!?: Actually, I hadn't planned for that originally, and I might make another version where Dib DOESN'T discover that, but it just happened in the story! I mean, he asks the ship for the footage from the escape pod, and I realized that that line was the first thing she said after she ejected! The only way around it I can think of, is if Dib thinks she's just taunting Zim and lying; but she seems like the smarter of the two, sos it's unusual for Dib to think that SHE'S the one that's lying. I could also add a distraction so he doesn't notice it...hm, I'll have to think about this! Anyways, it's not much of an edit, but I think I'll have both versions up eventually... Based on the story that branches off from it, it'll be useful to have, don't you think?

Okays, I admit that at first I thought Tak wouldn't have a space-suit. Then it occurred to me that an escape pod would have a spare suit in it, at the very least. I mean, wouldn't that make sense? Or what about storing one in her pak? Sos the only explanation I have, is that her space-suit is mysteriously missing after who-knows-what, and...that's...all I have to say..about that! *Nods*

Also, why doesn't Tak have an extra memory-disk for her SIR-Unit? I realized this when I'd completed the story, and I didn't want to have to re-type the entire thing, since it would change so much in it! Sos the answer is: I don't know, and I'll assume it was exploded whenever her Magma Pump plan back-fired. I assume it was elsewhere other than in her pak or ship, so that's why. Maybe she set it down somewhere while cleaning out her pak or ship? We'll never know.

Hmmm... That's all for now~! I hope you all enjoyed it, an with this little thingy out of the way, it'll be a WHOLE LOT easier to write the other stories I've had planned... Anyways, thanks a ton for reading~! TTFN,R+R! Ta-Ta-For-Now, Read and Review~!


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